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I think today I heard the best new years resolution ever.
A young dude in the gym changing room was talking about the new leaf he's turned over.
"Man, I'm taking my health seriously...I've already quit dirty women".
Now that is a resolution worth keeping..I only hope he's made it before anything falls of.
Resolutions are every where in the gym this week, even the trainers are opening up goody bags
of new supplements and comparing shiny new protein shakers.
But we all know the dark side of these resolutions, that they'll either result in
B) Misery as you watch your buddies tuck into a monster double bacon burger whilst you nurse a wilted
But luckily for you treacle chops I've put together my top points to avoid being a new years casualty.
Follow the steps below and you'll be aight (or whatever it is the cool kids say).
Step 1: Don't try and get 6 months of gains in one workout.
Just cool ya jets and take a second.
Trying to run a half marathon the day after you buy your first trainers or hitting 20 sets of bench press
on your first session are a fast track to either hanging out with your local physio or becoming a gyms dream member.
The type that pays every month but never puts any wear and tear on the kit cos they never go.
You're not going to be buff, shredded, lean or any other adjective straight away.
Performing exercises well is a skill, especially if you're using free weights. Start by learning those skills.
Get your body to understand what it is it's meant to do before trying to break any world records.
Imagine trying to play a guitar solo when you've never picked up a guitar before...you'd naturally make a mess of it.
Same with training, don't go balls to the wall in your first couple of weeks. Get a feel of the exercises and see how your body responds.
After all, you don't want to be the Wyld Stallyns of the gym.
(If you're under 30 and you got that joke give yourself a Brucie Bonus, add another if you know what a Brucie Bonus is).
Step 2: Focus on ONE thing at a time
Wanna know why there's such a cliche about broken new years resolutions? Cos people try to change too many things at once.
I'm gonna quit, booze, smoking, fry ups, go to the gym, get to bed early, learn a new language and give up dirty women.
It's too much to handle.
In his book "The Power Of Less", Leo Babatua says that from his experiments he found the chance of changing multiple habits
was nearly always zero. But when you focus on just changing one thing your chances rise to as much as 80%.
Choose one positive habit to develop.
Focus on it for two weeks until it starts to feel comfortable, then move on to the next step.
Have patience and focus on long term gains rather than the "lose 10lbs in 2 days" snake oil merchants.
Step 3: Get used to being uncomfortable.
It ain't gonna be easy achieving something worthwhile. There's a price to pay.
It might be financial in hiring guidance. It maybe in time by giving up something else you enjoy.
You may have to get used to getting your butt in bed a little earlier and feeling a little hungry.
You know it's not going to be all rainbows and unicorn farts, so when it does get a little uncomfortable
just smile cos it maybe a sign that you're on track.
Step 4: Give yourself a break.
I hate to break it to you sweet cheeks but you're not perfect.
I think there's a chance that I may not be either.
You're human therefore you're bound to have the odd blip or cock up.
Don't make this the end of the world..oh no I had a biscuit, I ruined my perfect run...better eat the rest of the packet to cheer up...
oh it's all ruined...may as well eat deep fried mars bars for the rest of the year and wallow in self loathing.
Dude, shit happens.
Everyone slips up, you'll slip up sometimes. Just get straight back up and keep on keeping on.
Step 5: Don't obsess about your body
When I first started going to the gym I couldn't wait to whip my t-shirt of when I got home and see if any muscles had shown up.
It was kinda like being a kid and seeing if Santa had delivered.
Trust me. Constantly focusing on how you look will make you miserable.
The fact is you can't control how you look right now, but you can control the behaviours that affect how you look.
You can control the effort you put into training, into experimenting with new foods, in preparing foods for breakfast or to take to work.
That stuff is under your control.
Focus on that, learn to do them well and you'll but just aight.
(Man I hate that word).